Soul Mates: What They Are. What They Are Not.

Most people have a false sense of what a soul mate is.  I think maybe that comes from movies.  Many people feel that they need to marry their soul mate, that there is that ONE special someone out there exclusively for them and they should strive to identify that person and spend the rest of their life with them.  Those people are lovers and partners… but they are not necessarily soul mates.

A soul mate is not always someone you seek to spend your life with.  A soul mate is someone connected to you at the threads of the soul.  They might drift into your life for a short time, and they may be with you forever or any amount of time in between. Finding your soul mate isn’t about LOVE everlasting like star-crossed lovers in a movie.   It’s about support, trials, teaching, and helping you learn something you have not learned yet; dealing with something you have not dealt with yet.  And you don’t have just one soul mate, you have many.  There are many teachers in our life who present to us in many different ways.  Sometimes yes, we marry one.  Most times they flit in and out when we need them spiritually or when they need us. (Remember, you are someones teacher too!)

Sometimes with our soul mates we find a deep love, one that surpasses romantic feelings.   They can make us feel wonderful and alive.  You know when you get that uncanny feeling like you’ve met someone before, but you can’t quite put your finger on where.  Or when you know you’ve never met but have felt like you have known that person forever.  The ones who seem to have shown up at points of your life at just the right time, but you don’t really understand that until the time has passed.

They can also be the ones that push our buttons, and oftentimes are the connections so strong they bring us to our knees.   Sometimes the lessons are really rough and make you feel horrible.  Yep, these too are soul mates.  They simply are not here to always make you feel good; sometimes they make you feel really bad.   Sometimes they break your heart or make you feel sick to your stomach.  Sometimes you yearn to keep them; sometimes you can’t wait until they have gone.

Sometimes a soul mate is a lover; sometimes an abuser.  Sometimes they help us cope, sometimes they are reason WHY we need to cope.  As with any lesson in life, it’s what you get out of what is put upon you, how you deal with it, and where you go from there.  Sometimes you’re married to a soul mate while one or more additional soul mates are connected to you – teaching your spirit something it needs to learn.  The point is, you won’t always love a soul mate.  Sometimes they are people whom you despise or hurt you.  It’s not about love, lust, marriage forever and ever – it’s about spirit and teaching.

Written by Sheila M. Burke, Author of CHORUS OF SOULS