When you finally make it through to menopause, girl, you celebrate that shit!
And that’s exactly what I did! After a rough 6 or 7 years of wondering what the heck did I do to piss God off so bad that I would be saddled with this… the faucet which was my uterus finally stopped!
I waited and waited for 12 full months of no periods. I didn’t want to jinx myself by reporting my progress to anyone but my husband, really.
But after that twelfth month ended, a few close girlfriends and I got together at a wine and dessert bar one day at noon and celebrated the heck out of my awesome accomplishment, lol. They even brought gifts!
Ode to My Uterus
“I’d like to take a moment to acknowledge my uterus, the reason why we are all here today! Oh, it’s been quite a long journey, you and I. Although you’ve been with me since birth, I’ve followed your lead for 39 years and silly your demands, for 7.
You gave me severe anemia and the fear of making plans. For God’s sake, you forced me to wear tunics! You were the uninvited guest at every. Single. Graduation…. high school, college, and grad school. You ran with a rough crowd… crazy metabolism, mood swings, and hot flashes. You stole the spotlight on vacations…. and cost me a tremendous amount of money each month on your supplies.
You worked overtime during each and every important event… weddings, funerals, parties…Every. Single. College dorm move in and move out for 8 years. EIGHT. YEARS.
But… through thick (mostly thick) and thin… I appreciate all you have done for me and I’m glad I kept you. Despite it all, You’ve served me well. With that, I raise a glass to your retirement and welcome in this new phase of my life.
There is nothing quite like a group of girls celebrating a friend hitting a fabulous milestone. Cheers!
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